Look around. What do you see? Do you see a population of unhappy, addicted people…people addicted to food, to sugar, to alcohol, to drugs (prescribed or un-prescribed), to shopping, to praise and approval, to entertainment…to everything outside of themselves? Do you notice that authentically happy, well-adjusted people are alarmingly few and far between? How could this be? Why does happiness seem to be a goal we are constantly striving for rather than an intrinsic quality of our being?
We live in a time where accepted and standard practices during pregnancy, childbirth, in the home and in the schools are having catastrophic consequences on our children and on society as a whole. The proof is all around us, and the causes have been clearly demonstrated by pioneers in the field of pre- and perinatal psychology over the last 25 years. The good news is that the solution lies with you and that you are able to facilitate a different outcome for your children. It starts with putting the consciousness back into pregnancy and parenting and recognizing that the experiences that we had during our formative period (in the womb, during our birth and early childhood) directly shaped our emotional health and our ability to see and know our true selves.
Elena Tonetti-Vladimirova, director of the film “Birth As We Know It”, tells us “the quality of life is defined by the quality of birth”. These are some powerful words! Considering that 95% of the births in the United States are considered to be traumatic, 45% of which are severely traumatic, this does not bode well for future generations. She also states:
“…if our early impressions are anything less than loving, then that ‘anything’ imprints in our nervous system as a valid experience of love, regardless of how those experiences might have been. And throughout our life, we will subconsciously recreate the conditions and feelings that were imprinted at birth and early childhood, because in spite of all logic, those experiences are our comfort zone.”
We must realize that pregnancy and childbirth are sacred events in our lives and they are to be treated as such with preparation, nourishment and conscious connection with that new life. While pregnant, a woman is eating, thinking, feeling and emoting for two. This is not a time for undue stress, poor nutrition and busy schedules. Just before and after birth, a human is more open and sensitive then at any other time in their life. Childbirth is not a time for unnecessary interventions, early clamping and cutting of the umbilical cord, separation from the mother, unconscious cutting of the foreskin and avoidable poking and prodding. This is all recorded in the limbic system (permanently, unless subsequently re-imprinted) as what is to be expected of this world – harsh treatment, violence and pain. And though later in life feelings of fear, hostility, anger and “wrong-ness” may not be logical, that won’t make them any less real or limiting.
Have you ever stopped to ask yourself why you are afraid to speak in public? Why you feel you aren’t “good enough”? Why you keep sabotaging your relationships or your success? Why you lack the confidence to move forward in your life? Why do we spend so much time dealing with our “stuff” by going to countless self-development seminars, reading countless self-help books and listening to countless motivational speakers? Why is there so much to “fix”? The answer, or at least a very large part of it, lies in the quality of our birth and early childhood experiences. During these formative years, our limbic system, the emotional brain, is imprinted. As a result, beliefs are programmed into our system. The problem is that these beliefs are largely subconscious – you don’t even know that they are there! No wonder you keep on sabotaging yourself! You wouldn’t feel comfortable in your success, so you unconsciously destroy any chance of achieving it. The good news is, as Dr. Bruce Lipton tells us consciousness can rewrite these limiting beliefs, although it takes the awareness and tools to do so. Hmmm…sounds like a whole lot of work…
Now wouldn’t life be a whole lot rosier and easier if there was nothing to “fix” in the first place? What if the limbic imprint was based on nothing but love? What would this world look like if our children grew up in a world where they knew that they were supported, heard and loved, no matter what? What would life be like if each fetus lived in the womb of a mother who was fully supported, well nourished, stress-free and consciously connecting with her baby throughout her pregnancy? What would children be like if they came through the birth canal under peaceful, loving conditions, where there was complete trust in the wisdom of the female body to bring forth new life? How confident would our children be if they were given the breast immediately upon arrival into this new world, were held close to their mothers or fathers for the first year of their lives, and slept securely with their parents every night with no need to cry out for nourishment or comfort? My guess is that we would see the world transformed into one where peace and love would be the norm, where intelligence levels would sky rocket and where health would be abundant. It really is within reach and it need not take long. But it does depend on us. Our babies do depend on us, and as such, we must respond to them on their terms, not ours. We must keep them close and we must trust our children as they grow.
In one simple generation, if we choose peace over drama, love over fear, allowing versus resisting, confidence in our innate abilities over mindlessly giving our power to surgeons, doctors and other so-called ‘experts’, we will see humanity transform. We must start by looking within and be willing to heal. By healing ourselves, we heal our children and we heal the earth. The result could be no other and our continued evolution on this planet depends on it.
I originally wrote this article for the Nature Moms blog. I definitely felt it was worth a repost…especially since I am bringing Elena Tonetti-Vladimirova to town again this summer (more on that soon). I’d love to hear your comments and please share if you enjoyed this post!